Weird Feeling

Dear God, I have been asking myself lately whether or not I am happy. I have my faith, and even though I am not that smart but thank you God I graduated and I have a good job. Again, thank you God, I have a wonderful family and I have many caring friends. I also have a "kind of" boy friend. I even have a nice bed to sleep on with many shocking pink stuff around it. I dont think I have reasons not to feel happy.

But hey, what is it then? I still feel empty inside.

Dear God, life is so weird sometimes. I dont know what it is but I feel like there's something missing in my current life. I cant really spot what it is. Never feel this way before.

Perhaps, it's my piano that I miss. As far as I can recall, playing piano always makes me happy. May be I should retake my piano lessons so that I can indulge my passions. Perhaps, I can feel happy again.

Dear God, it seems the more I get older, the more complicated life turns to be. Age seems to always complicate the way human thinks about simple things. Why is that?

See, I dont even understand what I am thinking right now. I think I do miss my piano badly. I miss playing Traumerei, hikss. See, back then, when I still had my piano, I could just easily open and play it to feel better. See, you dont know what you get til you lose it. I want my old life back!

I wish I would never grow older so things could stay as it was. I wish I could always be a young teenager without having to deal with these whole grown up things...like paying rent and credit cards or working or cooking or whatever.

By the way, my life time favorites are Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven and The Swan by Saint Saens and all pieces from Chopin. Bear with me...I am feeling restless tonight. I dont know what I am saying and I also dont know what I am thinking. I just feel like writing non sense stuff tonight.

I'd better go and pray! Good night people!